My Landon Turns 5!!!!!

It feels like it was just yesterday that I went into labor with my oldest. I remembered being checked, told to walk around the mall for a couple of hours, then back into the hospital to be admitted. I just wanted to meet him sooooo badly!

I ended up not getting the epidural (Dr. Cocktail as I like to call it. lol) until about 7cm dialated. Dr. Cocktail was working his rounds on another floor and took quite a while to get to me. But once I got it, man, I slept and slept and slept. My nickname on the floor was Sleeping Beauty. The nurses would come in and check me and I wouldn't budge. However, there was one moment in the night when my mom went to the restroom and when she flushed the toilet it made a huge loud noise. I jumped in my bed and sat straight up. My sister, Charlotte, asked me if I was ok. I said, "I'm fine, I just fell off the Christmas tree." hahahahahahaha Ummmm granted it was only the beginning of November and there weren't any Christmas trees in sight. She's never let me live that one down. lol

So at 2:32 in the morning, my first little man arrived in my arms and changed my life completely. I love him sooooo much!

So yesterday, on his actual birthday, I surprised him with balloons at school, took him to lunch at BJ's (it's been a tradition since he turned one), and brought cupcakes to his dance class to share. Even though I felt really sick, I wasn't going to let it ruin his special day. :) Even his dance teacher let him be in charge of across the floor and man was I proud! And cracking up at the same time! He had the girls - and even his teacher! - go to the sides and do jazz walks... he stood at the front with his hands on his hips and would give them one thumb up or two, depending on how much he liked their moves. Oh it was certainly hilarious!!! Thank you, Miss Patrice, for that wonderful memory.

Well, feeling a little better today so I'm going to try and get more accomplished before his big PIRATE party this weekend!

Happy 5th Birthday Landon! Mommy loves you forever and ever!

You Talkin To Me?

As if this week couldn't get any worse, my oldest son, Landon was sleepwalking last night. I awoke around 12:30 to an incessant barking from the neighbor's dog, so naturally, I go and check on my boys to see if they've been awoken as well... lo and behold- Landon was not in his bed!!! After about two minutes of running around in a panicked state looking for him (2 minutes that felt like 2 hours), I turned on the light in the playroom to find him asleep on the couch in there. Thank God he hadn't gotten hurt in this "bed-to-couch transition" in the dark. So I put him back to bed and went back to my room.... only to sit awake for about 2 hours, listening for every little sound I possibly could come from down the hallway. He got up about two more times walking around, and on the third when he finally needed to actually use the bathroom, I just pulled him in to bed with me so we could all get some sleep. So yes, super emotional and lonely me is running off three hours of sleep... not a good combo.

So maybe it was a combination of last night and this past week, but I'm not the woman to mess with right now. Well of all people to piss me off, my husband's ex decides to pick a fight with me through text message and I am going to post it here, verbatim, so everyone can see what a psycho we deal with on a day to day basis. I really don't care at this point if this is a good idea, but if I have this type of conversation documented, all the better for us in the long run.

Me: The plan today is for me to pick [J] up from gym and then u get her from me at 8, correct?

Her: Yeah and then you'll pick her up and drop her off on Thursday... And what time did you think you guys will be picking up [J] on Friday and when will you bring her home?

note* It was previously agreed to by my husband and his ex that I would have two dinner visits with [J] while he was in Montana and his ex would be picking her up from me after both visits. Apparently, her lazy ass forgot that. Moving on...

Me: No. My understanding is that u will pick her up both tonight and Thurs at 8. I will pick her up from school Fri and we will drop her off to you at 8.

Her: I told Mike I was willing to pick her up one night only... not both...

Me: The deal was both in exchange for [niece's] party. I'm doing enough by myself this week and would appreciate the help. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Her: I understand where you're coming from so I'll do it this time...

note* How on earth does she understand? Since when is she home running a household with three children alone for 10 days???

Her: Next time this happens all the normal travel arrangements remain in full effect. In regards to [niece's] bday I will be picking [J] up from you guys on Saturday the 14th at 7pm...

Me: Oh thanks for the favor I guess. And for [niece's] bday, I understand that you and [sister] are doing something at your church and you mom is picking her up from us at our church... Not the night before.

Her: If I'm driving to pick [J] up this week twice when I only agreed to once, then I get [J] on Saturday night the 14th at 7pm which was what you and I agreed to.

note* I agreed to nothing.

Me: You and I never agreed to anything, we discussed different options. But Mikey and you agreed to a church pick up and it had nothing to do with you driving here twice this week. Welcome to what we have to do on a weekly basis. I don't understand why it's so hard to just help out sometimes without so many strings attached...

Her: If u have a problem with the travel arrangements take it up with your husband... he's the one that agreed to it... Well I guess if we can't come to a resolution then we just leave things the way they are and not change anything... you don't get [J] this week and I don't get her for the party.

Me: It's not just the travel [B], it's the fact that anytime we ask for your help, there always has to be provisions. God forbid you should drive out here twice this week to help me out after being alone 10 days with the kids, but always have to have something in return. What resolution? I am going off what my husband said the two of you agreed to: you pick up Tues and Thurs from me, we pick up and drop off Fri, your mother picks [J] up from our church the 15th. If this needs to be changed, take it up with him and let me know. I do not make the agreements with you. I will be picking up [J] today and Thurs at 4:30pm as planned.

Her: I didn't agree to pick her up twice this week (note* YES SHE DID!) with Mike... so if I pick her up from you twice this week then I'll be picking [J] up from you guys on Saturday.

Me: All this over having to drive out here twice this week? You're unbelievable! Fine, just spoke with my husband, and even tho u agreed to two pickups, u can pick her up on the 14th at 8pm and no earlier since we will be having Landon's party that day. I want my [J] time.



All I want is time with my step-daughter, yet her mother will swear up and down that she makes this asinine decisions in the best interests of [J]. What part of that convo and not wanting to drive out here twice to help me out because she's so fricken lazy was in the best interest of her daughter?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
All I know is, my husband is proud of me for standing up to her while he's in another state and that's all that matters.


My advice: Don't flippin mess with me right now. I have plenty of friends that will be "ghetto" with me and rip you a new one. Thanks! :)

A Long-Time-Coming Meltdown

Well, I finally broke down yesterday. It was definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mind is just so consumed with so many different things that it's quite impossible to see straight right now.

My son's kindergarten teacher wants me to pull him out of school because he's too "lethargic" and thinks I should get his blood tested. Sure, he's at the top of his class academically, but sometimes, takes a little longer to clean up toys or move from one station to the next. The kid gets between 10 and 11 hours of sleep at night... He excels on ALL of his tests... Is NEVER disruptive in class... and is a really great student (coming from other parent volunteers in the classroom who decided to share their opinions with me). Apparently, this teacher is known for her biased opinion of children (especially boys) who start Kindergarten before turning 5. Landon will be 5 in two weeks - get over it lady! One parent volunteer last Friday told me that the teacher was talking non-stop about the "under-agers" during recess and how she cannot believe parents "do this to their kids." Excuse me! But my son is MORE THAN READY to be in a school environment and has proven this to me time and time again. I'm thinking it's about time to tell this teacher that no matter what she says, my son is STAYING IN SCHOOL.

Next, I have turf toe. Yes, a small and minute (yet sometimes very sharp) pain, it's still bugging me. Turf toe is most common in football players and runners from pushing off the balls of their feet, but dancers frequently get it as well from going on releve. Well, I've been working out and choreographing a lot more lately, and apparently, sprained the base of my big toe, on my left foot, which is my turning foot, hence "turf toe". I'm wearing a little retarded ortho shoe which prevents me from bending my toes, so it's helped a lot. The doc suggested I stay on crutches until my follow-up, but with no hubby around til this Friday and being alone and crazy busy with the kids, that type of recovery is just not possible. So my next appnt is with a sports med doctor a week from today. We shall see...

My kids were insane yesterday. I think they wanted to test me to my limits and BOY did they! Not listening, really disrespectful, rude, mean to each other, fighting, whining, begging... anything they could possibly do to irritate me, they did. So after having to be at church for all three services yesterday morning, we went to lunch with Michelle where the kids continued to torment me. We stopped by Walmart on our way home to see if they had any Pirate invites for Landon's birthday party, which they did not, and the boys proceeded to run around everywhere, yell at me, and hit each other (all behavior which is not uncommon in children, but extremely uncommon for mine in the extremity they were acting). So we got home and I just lost it. I sent them to play in the backyard, all the while, Cameron didn't nap despite my best efforts, and we were supposed to go back to church for a concert that evening. Needless to say, being almost 30 mins from our church, mascara smeared all over my face and no one to hold me, I wasn't about to leave the house in any way, shape or form. We stayed home. It was a looooong night.

We went to a memorial service last week for a dear friend of mine from church whose dad passed away. The whole time I was sitting there listening to his daughters and brother speak such kind words about him, all I could think about was my own dad and how far we've drifted apart over the years. I maybe speak to him once a year. There's a long story behind what he did to my family, but in the end, he's my Daddy and I miss him so much. I was Daddy's girl and he ripped that away from me in an instant and nothing has been the same since. God had to give me so much strength to forgive him and I most certainly have, I just wish he could forgive himself and be a part of his kids (and grand kids) lives. I don't think he understands just how much it would mean to all of us.

I miss my husband. Despite missing him being here to help and for the "adult" communication, I feel like we've been missing that "best friend" bond and it's killing me. We really need to work on loving each other more. Period.

I think I've babbled on enough.... and believe me, there's PLENTY more to add to all this, but for sake of boredom, I will spare you. On to the rest of my crazy crazy crazy day. Hope everyone is having a better few days than I am. Can I just have a hug now??????????

Mother & Son Questionnaire

Last night at the Mother-Son Dance, we did a little activity with the boys that was a Questionnaire. I thought the answers my little ones gave were too cute not to post. So here goes:

"Questions for Son"

1. What was the nicest thing your mom ever did for you?
Landon: Everything.
Cameron: Make me food.

2. What was your favorite birthday?
Landon: Bowling and Disneyland
Cameron: Agent Oso (which hasn't happened yet, but he's already planning his 3rd bday party. lol)

3. What is the thing you love most about your mom?
Landon: She helps me all the time.
Cameron: Being in her bed. hahahaha

4. What is the best thing your mom has ever cooked you?
Landon: Peanut Butter and Jelly.
Cameron: Waffles.

5. What is the worst thing your mom has ever cooked you?
Landon: That red and green thing that looks like garbage. (Have NO clue what this is! lol)
Cameron: Eggs.

6. What do you love to do most with your mom?
Landon: Go to Disneyland.
Cameron: Snuggle. (*sigh*)

7. What is the wisest thing your mother has ever told you?
Landon: To praise Jesus.
Cameron: To pray. (Can you tell I'm grinning from ear to ear by now?)

8. My mother has the prettiest ________.
Landon: hair.
Cameron: head.

9. What is the funniest thing my mother has ever done?
Landon: Made silly faces.
Cameron: Tickled me.


"Questions for Mom"

1. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?
Set up my own diner in the playroom and waitress on rollerskates. lol

2. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?
8th grade I think.

3. Are you the youngest, middle or oldest in your family?
Youngest and I LIKE it that way! :)

4. What was your favorite subject in school?
English.

5. What was your nickname when you were little?
Nettie or Net Net

6. What was your biggest fear when you were little?
That Santa Claus would come down the chimney and kill my family - thanks Brother.

7. What is one thing you wish you had done when you were little that yo never did?
Tried to keep my daddy at home more instead of working so much.

8. What is the thing you love most about your son(s)?
Landon has an absolute heart of gold and Cameron when he's not being a nutbuster, makes me feel more love than I ever thought possible.

9. What is your favorite memory with your son(s)?
The first mother-son dance with Landon is an evening I will never forget. And taking Cameron to Disneyland for the first time for Landon's birthday still puts a smile on my face.

10. My son has the best ___________.
Landon has the best heart, Cameron has the best snuggles.


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We took a few moments out of the dance to talk over the answers with our boys and share some quality one-on-one time with them. It was an incredible night that I will never forget.

Alone for 10 Days

My husband left for Montana today... til next Friday... with two kids and a couple dinner visits with Jordan... an insane load of activities... and barely enough time to breath in my day.

Don't get me wrong, I want him to have a great time! But I am REALLY going to miss my time at the end of the day with him. When he gets home, it's like: "Yes! I have someone other than a 4 and 2 year old to talk to!" [Insert baby talk here.] Of course, with husbands, it may seem like you're talking to a 4 or 2 year old, but hey, it's better than Mom... Mom... Mom... Mom... Mom!!!

So today we dropped the older two off at school, ran a couple of errands, dropped hubby off to the "pick up" spot to meet his dad, picked Landon up from school, met Ashley and baby Liam for lunch, and finally headed home. My poor Cammy passed out from pure exhaustion while I choreographed and Landon played Wii. Then did homework with Landon, made dinner, and am now taking a few minutes to check email and such.

I'm hoping with all my might I can make it through the next nine days without going completely insane!... and without any migraines! Yes, minus the migraines would be VERY nice. Hubby is usually my biggest support when I get those terrible-no-can-see-want-to-vomit headaches, and he won't be here... so be expecting some phone calls friends should the situation arise! lol

I would LOVE the company!!!... *wink wink wink* *nudge nudge nudge*

Oh and I officially dyed my hair for the first time in my life. Yes, my hair was always naturally very blonde and I was sooooo ready for a change. [insert dromroll here]




















I'm actually liking the darker color better. lol Stay tuned!

Off to complete showers and teeth so I can actually enjoy So You Think You Can Dance tonight. Day 1 is almost complete. *sigh*

A Long Time Coming

I know. I know. It's been awhile, but things got pretty crazy.

My "rainbow" calendar stares me in the face every day reminding me of all that needs to be done.
My to-do list is getting longer by the minute and I don't know if I'll ever get around to finishing it.
My kids extra-curricular activities are taking over the afternoons (and nap time), but I just can't seem to say no to those precious faces.
My husband has been working so much that I barely see him, although I'm grateful for all he does.

To put it simply... I'm ready for a change. Start with little things and then attack the larger ones.

I need to express more of how I'm feeling and worry about the logistics later.

It is almost Halloween and then the Thanksgiving and Christmas season will be vastly approaching and I sure hope I'm ready for it! It's my favorite time of year and I couldn't be more thrilled than to spend it with my family and the friends I have become closest to this year... hanging with them has really helped me put things into perspective and I am forever thankful.

It seems as though the schedule is jam-packed the rest of the year so good luck trying to get a hold of me. lol

Ta Ta For Now... who says that any more? Really?

You know that Island out there?...

I'm leaving for Catalina in 2 days!!!

No kids!!! :)
No hubby. :(

Just me and the greatest friends I could have ever hoped for in my life! The Island will never be the same again.

The end.

Glee - my word of the hour

So here goes. Change of focus is going to happen in my life and I am utterly determined for it to happen. At my church's Beth Moore event this past weekend, she spoke about the three major things that keep us from having total delight in our lives.
J- jealousy
A- anger
W- worry

After listening to her, it completely hit me. I am that angry person who holds stuff in with a bright "sunshine" face on the outside. I'll always tell you I'm "ok", "doing great", "everything's fine", when most likely, something is truly eating me on the inside. She said, "I'm sure someone or something has popped in to your mind when I've said all this." And sure enough, one very particular person did. I am soooooooooo completely angry at this person and I can never seem to let go of that anger. You would think after time, none of the stuff this person pulls would surprise me, but to this day, it still does... even 4 1/2 years later! How am I supposed to let go of the anger when this person continually upsets me? How do I not take this stuff personally when it affects a "child" of mine in every aspect of the word? I've been told many words of advice, I prayed my little heart off every single day, I take extremely careful notes... all in hopes that someday, the "anger" can go away and this "child" can be mine.

Maybe I just need to start venting the anger a bit more. Maybe I shouldn't let every little thing get to me. God is so faithful that I know He won't let this person be rewarded for their actions... of this I am sure. "Let go and let God," right? And I hold on to that for peace. Peace in my heart and mind, and confidence that someday, my husband and I will make the proper stand needed for complete happiness. Happiness this particular person will never ever EVER know. And THAT, my friends, make me glee! Yes, I said glee. :)

Explode + Me = Happy Ending

Am I allowed to vent on here?
Does it make any sense that the Internet is soooooo broad, that a search of my name could bring up any blog I've ever posted?
If not for free speech, blogs would not exist, but yet I still feel restricted as to what I can say.
And I can't even elaborate on why that is!!!

It's soooo darn frustrating that I feel heavy burdens and hurts in my heart, but can't say a damn thing because of "who" might read it.

One of these days, you'll probably see my blog explode. Explode into a complete mushpot of crazy thoughts and words that probably won't make any sense to the general public. But to me, it could be a HUGE weight lifted off my chest.

I need to get to the point where I don't care who reads what I say. I haven't been cruel in anything I've said (thus far) and don't intend to.

Someday... this ticking time bomb will go off.
The end.

"No Title for this Blog" Blog

There's quite a bit going on right now and it's hard to keep up. This is the first time in my "Mommy" life I've had to keep up with so many different schedules. I got myself a calendar with different stickers and different colored pens and started labeling the calendar dates per family member activity. Sheesh. Jordan is in Kindergarten, Landon is starting Kindergarten on Monday, Mikey is going back to school and starts this evening, I'm psychotically busy myself and Cam keeps me busy enough just being himself. lol You can only imagine what this calendar looks like - best description would be a melting pot of red, purple, pink, green and blue colors. LUCKILY, none of the school activities overlap each other, so we're good. Busy, but good. :)

Speaking of Jordan, my big girl had her 5th Birthday Party over the weekend and it was just a blast!
It was all Hannah Montana themed, stars everywhere, we rented karaoke, went swimming and just overall, had a really good time.
I made this cake for her and I would do it again in a heartbeat! lol





















Then....

She had her first day of Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I cried walking away from her classroom that morning. It is insanely crazy how fast they grow up. But she loves her class and I am so so proud of her!















On to Wednesday: Landon had his assessment testing for Kindergarten. Let me just start by saying the teacher immediately sat me down and told me my son was too young to start Kindergarten and he would most likely be on the "2 year" plan. (All based on past teaching experience, his birthday being in Nov and that he was a boy.) I refuse to be an overbearing parent that says, "Well my child is brilliant and will succeed in your class no matter what you say." But I didn't need to say that. Landon proved that to her himself and I was just beaming with pride. He was very polite, interacted well with the other little girl in the meeting with us, and scored 100% on Capital Letters, 98% on Lowercase Letters, 92% on Numbers 1-30, and the teacher thought he was doing so well, she threw in an extra test of Alphabet Sounds which he scored 47% on!!! None of the other kids tested so far took that test!!! She ended the meeting by saying, "You're right. He's very ready for Kindergarten. I'm quite impressed." So proud. So so proud.

Well, time to finish folding the never-ending laundry and clean.
PS - Can someone do a rain dance to make this heat wave go away??? :)

Princess Jordie turns 5!!!!!

5 years ago on this day, Jordan Emma was born into this world to my amazing husband Michael and his ex, Bree. (I'm being nice because this is for Jordie.) lol

I went and visited them the day after she was born because we were friends. After that day, I wasn't able to see her because both his ex and mine did not want us to be friends anymore since they could sense an obvious chemistry between us. hahahahaha Little did I know, a year later, I would become a major part of this little girl's life. Shortly after splitting with my ex and moving out with our nine month old, Michael and Jordan stepped into my life and we started to become a blended family. It hasn't always been the easiest situation (and that's putting it as lightly as possible), but living my life without her now wouldn't be living at all. I love her as my own. She looks up to me, confides in me as much as a 5 year old can, trusts me and most of all, loves me. And man do I love her!!!

So Happy 5th Birthday Jordie Girl!

You make me so darn proud to be your step mom and I look forward to the beautiful Christ-loving woman you become... let's just not get there too terribly fast, ok pumpkin? :)

Stories and Workouts

So Lights Out Night went great! We built the tent, made some popcorn, lit some candles, and read books. It really was great to spend that time with them with no distractions of regular life. After reading, I let the boys go through the books and make up their own stories based on the pictures.
Oh the imaginations they have!Daddy came home during the middle of me reading Scooby Doo, so he joined us for the remainder of fun. What a great family moment!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a side note, I've begun the P90X workout and MAN am I hurting!!! I can barely make it up our stairs right now and it's only been 3 days! lol Does that mean it's working? hahahahaha

Off to call some more wedding vendors and put away laundry. :) Have a great day everyone!

Lights Out!

One of the many joys of staying home with my kids is coming up with new and fun ways to entertain them within four walls. Yikes. Now let's not go crazy, k? K.

Ever so often, my husband has to work late, so the boys are all mine, all day long up to the minute they are asleep. To put it lightly, my boys absolutely love stories, the dark and popcorn. So what do I do? In our playroom, we make a tent made of blankets, chairs and some jump rope. Now, if you've ever tried constructing a tent from blankets, you'd probably understand the use of jump rope in all this. lol I pop some popcorn, grab our favorite books, some small votive candles (enough for light, but not enough to fry a blanket) and we sit under our makeshift tent in the playroom and read stories before bedtime. If I'm feeling extra nice (could be tough after an all-dayer), I'll let them sleep there. But both of them are restless sleepers, so moving around constantly could pose a problem. I could just see the two of them moving around, kicking a chair, jump rope snaps, blanket falls down, and I get a middle of the night scream: "Mommy! Our tent is ruined! My blankie fall down!" And then you have the 2am ultimatum of "Do I fix the tent and go back to bed or do I fight them to get in their own beds and sleep?" Yes, I know. The dilemmas you face as a mom.

So I'm preparing the blankets, getting out my candles, setting aside the books, all in preparation of our Lights Out Night. No TV, no movies, no video games. Just pure, uninterrupted Mommy-Boys time - did I say uninterrupted? Ha.

If you're a parent, I highly recommend this activity. It doesn't make for a huge clean-up and the kids really do have a great time. We'll take some pics and I'll post them on my next blog.

Maybe we'll hit up the 99cent store for some flashlights this time. :)

"Beediful"

This crazy week ended with a bang. There was an amazing turnout at VBS Family Night and the performances for the parents went off without a hitch.
My husband took some incredible pictures that I will forever be thankful for.
Both my kids were praising God, my mom came to support all three of us performing, and it was just an overwhelming energy one cannot begin to describe!
My mom treated us to Islands afterwards, where Cameron told her she was "beediful" (beautiful). I honestly think I saw her melting right in her seat. What a beediful moment. ;)





















Then this morning, I had some errands to run and low and behold, I got to go by myself!
*cue Triumphant music*
Recently, becoming a stay-at-home mom, it is very rare that I get any grocery shopping done, any checks deposited, any Venti frappucinos, any gas runs, etc, without my kids screaming at each other (or me) from the backseat. "Mom, turn on Take, Take, Take It All." "Mommy, turn up liddle peez." (Mommy, turn up the music little please) "Cameron, stop hitting me!" "Nandin (Landon), me do it." "Mommy, me sing!" "Mom, the sun is too hot for my eyes." "Mommy, where's Sissy (Jordan)?" And on and on and on.....
I deposited some checks, got my Venti frap from Starbucks, got school supplies for Landon AND grocery shopping!!! All in a few hours with just peace and my worship music on. Can we say "beediful"?

So now I'm home, still procrastinating folding the darn laundry, and listening to my kids watching Veggie Tales. And Landon has since figured out how to use the DVD remote, so needless to say, we may watch the same part 10 times before moving on. A person can only handle hearing "If you like to talk to tomatoes" so many times before going nuts. I think I'm going to remove the batteries! Ahhh yes!

*pause*

Dang it. He figured out the batteries were missing. Note to self: Must find a remote where the battery pack opens only by removing a screw like all the kids toys come with now!

Maybe I'll start folding that laundry now. Do you like to talk to tomatoes? :)

Spring Cleaning this early?...

If you think I've started de-cluttring, you're wrong.
If you think I'm getting rid of old clothes, you're wrong.
If you think I'm having a yard sale for un-used toys, you're wrong...

For the time being, that is.

I'm de-cluttering, re-organizing, getting rid of, throwing away and re-prioritizing my emotional state of being, my faith and my life in general.

I've neglected putting God first and that's going to change.
I've neglected focusing on those who truly meant the most to me and paid attention to the un-needed drama.
I've neglected taking that "me and God" time every day, but will avidly seek after Him now instead.

Emotional Spring Cleaning To Do List:
* Brush the dirt and drama under the rug
* Throw away the negativity out of my life and my family's life
* Prioritize and focus on the important things.

Yup. *sigh* What a transformation over a couple of months. :) Thank you Father.

Lost in a Lazy, Unaccomplished Guilt?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm incredibly lost. My day can be completely organized down to the minute, but yet if I take one second to sit down, I feel like I'm being lazy. I sit there and wonder, "Shouldn't I be doing something this very second? " Even if the dishwasher is going, the laundry is drying and my kids are playing nicely, I still feel... ummmmmmm... unaccomplished? Is that the word? I guess any parent out there reading this could probably identify with what I'm saying. You almost feel guilty, even though you're taking care of everything you can.
Hmmmmmm.....


I should probably go get the dishes done before worship band practice tonight...

Did the past few days really just happen?

So, finally this year, I had the chance to volunteer for VBS... which in case you don't know, stands for Vacation Bible School. Most churches have them, but I doubt any church does them like CCV (Christ's Church of the Valley). We have 400 kids in attendance this year, which also means it has brought out the most amazing volunteers and teachers. Their morning begins at 9:00 with an all school assembly at 9:15, and then they rotate through different activities throughout the morning until the closing assembly at noon. Where am I you may ask? Well probably where you think I am... On Stage. Duh. lol

I get my ever-so-cool "Hannah Montana" microhphone and I sing and dance and worship and praise on stage in front of all these AMAZING kids!

The best moment:
Looking out into the sea of children and spotting Landon. He wasn't looking at me at the time because he had his eyes closed and was worshiping the Lord with his hands held high. I literally had to start lip syncing for the moment because I was choking up and didn't want to cry into the mic. To see my son having a moment with his Maker was indescribable. Ok, tearing up again. A few minutes later, I caught his eye and he smiled so big and gave me HUGE thumbs up! I saw him tap his friend and say, "That's my mom up there!" For some reason, all the little boys in his class give me hugs now. lol I wonder why? :)

Another great moment:
This whole week, the kids are bringing in coins and money to give to other children in Zimbabwe. After hearing about the difference he could make, Landon immediately came home and said he wanted to give money to the kids. So I reached for my wallet and he stopped me. "No, Mom... I want to give them my own money." (Which let me add, that he has a secret stash of money that he has been saving up to go on a trip to Toys R Us, so the kid is doing quite good.) So he went upstairs to his "hiding place", took out some money and even gave a couple of dollars to his younger brother so he could contribute the next day. He then asked, "Mom, do you think the other kids in Zimbabwe will be able to go to Toys R Us with this money?" Oh if only he truly knew what it was like. I told him his money would buy food and clothes, which are always better than toys, which he responded, "Oh yes, mom. Nobody likes a hungry naked baby running around because they're grumpy."

The week thus far has really made me step back and look at my kids in a whole new light. Cameron is coming home and avidly wants me to read the Bible with him. Landon is talking nonstop about the lesson plans he has been learning. This year's theme is Dr. Suess - A person's a person no matter how small. My kids feel special, loved and appreciated. And I have no one to thank but God for giving all the loving volunteers the strength to instill His Word in each and every kid.

In the next couple of days, I pray that the Lord has touched so many kids that they will choose to give their hearts to Christ. Could you imagine being a parent and hearing your child say, "Yes, Lord. I will follow You for the rest of my life. Please come into my heart."?

Friday evening, there is a performance at 6:30pm if anyone is interested. All 400 kids will be performing so it will be a good time.

I think I'll call myself "That Proud Mom Over There" for the day. :)

Welcome to my world...

For awhile now, I've been debating on whether or not I wanted to set up my own blog. Now that I am home, there are so many things that happen daily that are either too cute or too funny not to share. So...

Welcome to my world.

I'm that "crazy mom over there" who tries to do too much, probably kisses her kids too much, is always concerned for others before herself, and ultimately tries to achieve perfection. Perfection that this side of craziness will most likely never see.

I have two boys and a step-daughter, all of which I cherish will all my heart. The older two, Landon and Jordan, will be starting kindergarten this month and it has absolutely taken me for a loop. I actually cried watching the Walmart back to school commercial the other day. They are my babies and to be starting a completely new chapter in their life, and "making new memories without me" as my sister would say, makes me sad, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. Will they be liked? Will they do well? Will they be as retarded as they are at home sometimes? lol Forget about that last one... kind of.

I'm thrilled to be able to spend a couple of hours of alone time with my youngest while the older two are at school. He needs it. He's definitely the baby of the family and his attitude and personality portray it well. Apparently, I was exactly the same way when I was his age, so I just figure God is looking down on me and smiling in an "I got you" kind of a way. Yes, I truly believe that even God has a sense of humor.

And while we're on the topic, I love God and have devoted my life to Him and have promised to raise my kids in His Glory and Word. End of story... it's not up for negotiation.

I have an amazing husband, Michael, whom I've known was my soulmate since the first night I met him... the night before I married my ex-husband. Yup, you read correctly. He was dating a friend who came to my bachelorette party and we just clicked. I almost didn't get married the next day because I was so darn sure there was something about him that completed me. Little did I know, a year and a half later, I would be calling him my own. We had a son (the attitude-bearing, know-it-all youngest, Cameron) and got married July 15, 2007. Yes, I know we did it backwards, but we have since put God at the center of our marriage, been forgiven for our wrong doings and are growing stronger by the day.

So at the moment, Cameron is on the floor next to me watching "Ect-Men" (X-Men) and cuddling with is "chocit bunny" (chocolate bunny) and Landon is having his "alone time" as he likes to say, downstairs watching his cartoons. Sometimes, the boys just need a break from each other, and to be honest, I need a break from their arguing. lol Without these little moments, I would probably throw myself off the roof... or punt my kids like a football. Ha Ha... just kidding again, maybe.

Well, hope you enjoy the randomness, humor, enlightening, spiritual and sometimes sophisticated (yeah, right) thoughts that run through my head... but whatever you do, DON'T call me a crazy mom... that's MY job. :)