A Long-Time-Coming Meltdown

Well, I finally broke down yesterday. It was definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mind is just so consumed with so many different things that it's quite impossible to see straight right now.

My son's kindergarten teacher wants me to pull him out of school because he's too "lethargic" and thinks I should get his blood tested. Sure, he's at the top of his class academically, but sometimes, takes a little longer to clean up toys or move from one station to the next. The kid gets between 10 and 11 hours of sleep at night... He excels on ALL of his tests... Is NEVER disruptive in class... and is a really great student (coming from other parent volunteers in the classroom who decided to share their opinions with me). Apparently, this teacher is known for her biased opinion of children (especially boys) who start Kindergarten before turning 5. Landon will be 5 in two weeks - get over it lady! One parent volunteer last Friday told me that the teacher was talking non-stop about the "under-agers" during recess and how she cannot believe parents "do this to their kids." Excuse me! But my son is MORE THAN READY to be in a school environment and has proven this to me time and time again. I'm thinking it's about time to tell this teacher that no matter what she says, my son is STAYING IN SCHOOL.

Next, I have turf toe. Yes, a small and minute (yet sometimes very sharp) pain, it's still bugging me. Turf toe is most common in football players and runners from pushing off the balls of their feet, but dancers frequently get it as well from going on releve. Well, I've been working out and choreographing a lot more lately, and apparently, sprained the base of my big toe, on my left foot, which is my turning foot, hence "turf toe". I'm wearing a little retarded ortho shoe which prevents me from bending my toes, so it's helped a lot. The doc suggested I stay on crutches until my follow-up, but with no hubby around til this Friday and being alone and crazy busy with the kids, that type of recovery is just not possible. So my next appnt is with a sports med doctor a week from today. We shall see...

My kids were insane yesterday. I think they wanted to test me to my limits and BOY did they! Not listening, really disrespectful, rude, mean to each other, fighting, whining, begging... anything they could possibly do to irritate me, they did. So after having to be at church for all three services yesterday morning, we went to lunch with Michelle where the kids continued to torment me. We stopped by Walmart on our way home to see if they had any Pirate invites for Landon's birthday party, which they did not, and the boys proceeded to run around everywhere, yell at me, and hit each other (all behavior which is not uncommon in children, but extremely uncommon for mine in the extremity they were acting). So we got home and I just lost it. I sent them to play in the backyard, all the while, Cameron didn't nap despite my best efforts, and we were supposed to go back to church for a concert that evening. Needless to say, being almost 30 mins from our church, mascara smeared all over my face and no one to hold me, I wasn't about to leave the house in any way, shape or form. We stayed home. It was a looooong night.

We went to a memorial service last week for a dear friend of mine from church whose dad passed away. The whole time I was sitting there listening to his daughters and brother speak such kind words about him, all I could think about was my own dad and how far we've drifted apart over the years. I maybe speak to him once a year. There's a long story behind what he did to my family, but in the end, he's my Daddy and I miss him so much. I was Daddy's girl and he ripped that away from me in an instant and nothing has been the same since. God had to give me so much strength to forgive him and I most certainly have, I just wish he could forgive himself and be a part of his kids (and grand kids) lives. I don't think he understands just how much it would mean to all of us.

I miss my husband. Despite missing him being here to help and for the "adult" communication, I feel like we've been missing that "best friend" bond and it's killing me. We really need to work on loving each other more. Period.

I think I've babbled on enough.... and believe me, there's PLENTY more to add to all this, but for sake of boredom, I will spare you. On to the rest of my crazy crazy crazy day. Hope everyone is having a better few days than I am. Can I just have a hug now??????????

Welcome to my world...

For awhile now, I've been debating on whether or not I wanted to set up my own blog. Now that I am home, there are so many things that happen daily that are either too cute or too funny not to share. So...

Welcome to my world.

I'm that "crazy mom over there" who tries to do too much, probably kisses her kids too much, is always concerned for others before herself, and ultimately tries to achieve perfection. Perfection that this side of craziness will most likely never see.

I have two boys and a step-daughter, all of which I cherish will all my heart. The older two, Landon and Jordan, will be starting kindergarten this month and it has absolutely taken me for a loop. I actually cried watching the Walmart back to school commercial the other day. They are my babies and to be starting a completely new chapter in their life, and "making new memories without me" as my sister would say, makes me sad, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. Will they be liked? Will they do well? Will they be as retarded as they are at home sometimes? lol Forget about that last one... kind of.

I'm thrilled to be able to spend a couple of hours of alone time with my youngest while the older two are at school. He needs it. He's definitely the baby of the family and his attitude and personality portray it well. Apparently, I was exactly the same way when I was his age, so I just figure God is looking down on me and smiling in an "I got you" kind of a way. Yes, I truly believe that even God has a sense of humor.

And while we're on the topic, I love God and have devoted my life to Him and have promised to raise my kids in His Glory and Word. End of story... it's not up for negotiation.

I have an amazing husband, Michael, whom I've known was my soulmate since the first night I met him... the night before I married my ex-husband. Yup, you read correctly. He was dating a friend who came to my bachelorette party and we just clicked. I almost didn't get married the next day because I was so darn sure there was something about him that completed me. Little did I know, a year and a half later, I would be calling him my own. We had a son (the attitude-bearing, know-it-all youngest, Cameron) and got married July 15, 2007. Yes, I know we did it backwards, but we have since put God at the center of our marriage, been forgiven for our wrong doings and are growing stronger by the day.

So at the moment, Cameron is on the floor next to me watching "Ect-Men" (X-Men) and cuddling with is "chocit bunny" (chocolate bunny) and Landon is having his "alone time" as he likes to say, downstairs watching his cartoons. Sometimes, the boys just need a break from each other, and to be honest, I need a break from their arguing. lol Without these little moments, I would probably throw myself off the roof... or punt my kids like a football. Ha Ha... just kidding again, maybe.

Well, hope you enjoy the randomness, humor, enlightening, spiritual and sometimes sophisticated (yeah, right) thoughts that run through my head... but whatever you do, DON'T call me a crazy mom... that's MY job. :)