So here goes. Change of focus is going to happen in my life and I am utterly determined for it to happen. At my church's Beth Moore event this past weekend, she spoke about the three major things that keep us from having total delight in our lives.
After listening to her, it completely hit me. I am that angry person who holds stuff in with a bright "sunshine" face on the outside. I'll always tell you I'm "ok", "doing great", "everything's fine", when most likely, something is truly eating me on the inside. She said, "I'm sure someone or something has popped in to your mind when I've said all this." And sure enough, one very particular person did. I am soooooooooo completely angry at this person and I can never seem to let go of that anger. You would think after time, none of the stuff this person pulls would surprise me, but to this day, it still does... even 4 1/2 years later! How am I supposed to let go of the anger when this person continually upsets me? How do I not take this stuff personally when it affects a "child" of mine in every aspect of the word? I've been told many words of advice, I prayed my little heart off every single day, I take extremely careful notes... all in hopes that someday, the "anger" can go away and this "child" can be mine.
Maybe I just need to start venting the anger a bit more. Maybe I shouldn't let every little thing get to me. God is so faithful that I know He won't let this person be rewarded for their actions... of this I am sure. "Let go and let God," right? And I hold on to that for peace. Peace in my heart and mind, and confidence that someday, my husband and I will make the proper stand needed for complete happiness. Happiness this particular person will never ever EVER know. And THAT, my friends, make me glee! Yes, I said glee. :)