Monday, October 26, 2009

A Long-Time-Coming Meltdown

Well, I finally broke down yesterday. It was definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mind is just so consumed with so many different things that it's quite impossible to see straight right now.

My son's kindergarten teacher wants me to pull him out of school because he's too "lethargic" and thinks I should get his blood tested. Sure, he's at the top of his class academically, but sometimes, takes a little longer to clean up toys or move from one station to the next. The kid gets between 10 and 11 hours of sleep at night... He excels on ALL of his tests... Is NEVER disruptive in class... and is a really great student (coming from other parent volunteers in the classroom who decided to share their opinions with me). Apparently, this teacher is known for her biased opinion of children (especially boys) who start Kindergarten before turning 5. Landon will be 5 in two weeks - get over it lady! One parent volunteer last Friday told me that the teacher was talking non-stop about the "under-agers" during recess and how she cannot believe parents "do this to their kids." Excuse me! But my son is MORE THAN READY to be in a school environment and has proven this to me time and time again. I'm thinking it's about time to tell this teacher that no matter what she says, my son is STAYING IN SCHOOL.

Next, I have turf toe. Yes, a small and minute (yet sometimes very sharp) pain, it's still bugging me. Turf toe is most common in football players and runners from pushing off the balls of their feet, but dancers frequently get it as well from going on releve. Well, I've been working out and choreographing a lot more lately, and apparently, sprained the base of my big toe, on my left foot, which is my turning foot, hence "turf toe". I'm wearing a little retarded ortho shoe which prevents me from bending my toes, so it's helped a lot. The doc suggested I stay on crutches until my follow-up, but with no hubby around til this Friday and being alone and crazy busy with the kids, that type of recovery is just not possible. So my next appnt is with a sports med doctor a week from today. We shall see...

My kids were insane yesterday. I think they wanted to test me to my limits and BOY did they! Not listening, really disrespectful, rude, mean to each other, fighting, whining, begging... anything they could possibly do to irritate me, they did. So after having to be at church for all three services yesterday morning, we went to lunch with Michelle where the kids continued to torment me. We stopped by Walmart on our way home to see if they had any Pirate invites for Landon's birthday party, which they did not, and the boys proceeded to run around everywhere, yell at me, and hit each other (all behavior which is not uncommon in children, but extremely uncommon for mine in the extremity they were acting). So we got home and I just lost it. I sent them to play in the backyard, all the while, Cameron didn't nap despite my best efforts, and we were supposed to go back to church for a concert that evening. Needless to say, being almost 30 mins from our church, mascara smeared all over my face and no one to hold me, I wasn't about to leave the house in any way, shape or form. We stayed home. It was a looooong night.

We went to a memorial service last week for a dear friend of mine from church whose dad passed away. The whole time I was sitting there listening to his daughters and brother speak such kind words about him, all I could think about was my own dad and how far we've drifted apart over the years. I maybe speak to him once a year. There's a long story behind what he did to my family, but in the end, he's my Daddy and I miss him so much. I was Daddy's girl and he ripped that away from me in an instant and nothing has been the same since. God had to give me so much strength to forgive him and I most certainly have, I just wish he could forgive himself and be a part of his kids (and grand kids) lives. I don't think he understands just how much it would mean to all of us.

I miss my husband. Despite missing him being here to help and for the "adult" communication, I feel like we've been missing that "best friend" bond and it's killing me. We really need to work on loving each other more. Period.

I think I've babbled on enough.... and believe me, there's PLENTY more to add to all this, but for sake of boredom, I will spare you. On to the rest of my crazy crazy crazy day. Hope everyone is having a better few days than I am. Can I just have a hug now??????????


  1. My dearest Net Net. Reading your post for the first time nearly brought tears to my eyes. Your suffrage gave comfort to me in the sense that we all seem to suffer the same. Reading your worries and pains are the same similarities I suffer from and thought I was alone. I am here to help and comfort you when ever and where ever comfort and support is needed. We are the same as mothers as women and as God's children and we are here for each other. I will pray for you and be strong for you as a sister should. I love you Netty and thank you for sharing your struggles because with out that I wouldn't have been able to relate and be comforted knowing that I'm not alone out there in this crazy life we lead.

  2. I'm sending you a telepathic hug right now!! All I can say to this is I TOTALLY understand! I've pretty much been through everything the same with exception to "turf toe" (who named that anyway seriously eew?!)

    I hope the week gets better for you!