Explode + Me = Happy Ending

Am I allowed to vent on here?
Does it make any sense that the Internet is soooooo broad, that a search of my name could bring up any blog I've ever posted?
If not for free speech, blogs would not exist, but yet I still feel restricted as to what I can say.
And I can't even elaborate on why that is!!!

It's soooo darn frustrating that I feel heavy burdens and hurts in my heart, but can't say a damn thing because of "who" might read it.

One of these days, you'll probably see my blog explode. Explode into a complete mushpot of crazy thoughts and words that probably won't make any sense to the general public. But to me, it could be a HUGE weight lifted off my chest.

I need to get to the point where I don't care who reads what I say. I haven't been cruel in anything I've said (thus far) and don't intend to.

Someday... this ticking time bomb will go off.
The end.

"No Title for this Blog" Blog

There's quite a bit going on right now and it's hard to keep up. This is the first time in my "Mommy" life I've had to keep up with so many different schedules. I got myself a calendar with different stickers and different colored pens and started labeling the calendar dates per family member activity. Sheesh. Jordan is in Kindergarten, Landon is starting Kindergarten on Monday, Mikey is going back to school and starts this evening, I'm psychotically busy myself and Cam keeps me busy enough just being himself. lol You can only imagine what this calendar looks like - best description would be a melting pot of red, purple, pink, green and blue colors. LUCKILY, none of the school activities overlap each other, so we're good. Busy, but good. :)

Speaking of Jordan, my big girl had her 5th Birthday Party over the weekend and it was just a blast!
It was all Hannah Montana themed, stars everywhere, we rented karaoke, went swimming and just overall, had a really good time.
I made this cake for her and I would do it again in a heartbeat! lol





















Then....

She had her first day of Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I cried walking away from her classroom that morning. It is insanely crazy how fast they grow up. But she loves her class and I am so so proud of her!















On to Wednesday: Landon had his assessment testing for Kindergarten. Let me just start by saying the teacher immediately sat me down and told me my son was too young to start Kindergarten and he would most likely be on the "2 year" plan. (All based on past teaching experience, his birthday being in Nov and that he was a boy.) I refuse to be an overbearing parent that says, "Well my child is brilliant and will succeed in your class no matter what you say." But I didn't need to say that. Landon proved that to her himself and I was just beaming with pride. He was very polite, interacted well with the other little girl in the meeting with us, and scored 100% on Capital Letters, 98% on Lowercase Letters, 92% on Numbers 1-30, and the teacher thought he was doing so well, she threw in an extra test of Alphabet Sounds which he scored 47% on!!! None of the other kids tested so far took that test!!! She ended the meeting by saying, "You're right. He's very ready for Kindergarten. I'm quite impressed." So proud. So so proud.

Well, time to finish folding the never-ending laundry and clean.
PS - Can someone do a rain dance to make this heat wave go away??? :)

Princess Jordie turns 5!!!!!

5 years ago on this day, Jordan Emma was born into this world to my amazing husband Michael and his ex, Bree. (I'm being nice because this is for Jordie.) lol

I went and visited them the day after she was born because we were friends. After that day, I wasn't able to see her because both his ex and mine did not want us to be friends anymore since they could sense an obvious chemistry between us. hahahahaha Little did I know, a year later, I would become a major part of this little girl's life. Shortly after splitting with my ex and moving out with our nine month old, Michael and Jordan stepped into my life and we started to become a blended family. It hasn't always been the easiest situation (and that's putting it as lightly as possible), but living my life without her now wouldn't be living at all. I love her as my own. She looks up to me, confides in me as much as a 5 year old can, trusts me and most of all, loves me. And man do I love her!!!

So Happy 5th Birthday Jordie Girl!

You make me so darn proud to be your step mom and I look forward to the beautiful Christ-loving woman you become... let's just not get there too terribly fast, ok pumpkin? :)

Stories and Workouts

So Lights Out Night went great! We built the tent, made some popcorn, lit some candles, and read books. It really was great to spend that time with them with no distractions of regular life. After reading, I let the boys go through the books and make up their own stories based on the pictures.
Oh the imaginations they have!Daddy came home during the middle of me reading Scooby Doo, so he joined us for the remainder of fun. What a great family moment!!!

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On a side note, I've begun the P90X workout and MAN am I hurting!!! I can barely make it up our stairs right now and it's only been 3 days! lol Does that mean it's working? hahahahaha

Off to call some more wedding vendors and put away laundry. :) Have a great day everyone!

Lights Out!

One of the many joys of staying home with my kids is coming up with new and fun ways to entertain them within four walls. Yikes. Now let's not go crazy, k? K.

Ever so often, my husband has to work late, so the boys are all mine, all day long up to the minute they are asleep. To put it lightly, my boys absolutely love stories, the dark and popcorn. So what do I do? In our playroom, we make a tent made of blankets, chairs and some jump rope. Now, if you've ever tried constructing a tent from blankets, you'd probably understand the use of jump rope in all this. lol I pop some popcorn, grab our favorite books, some small votive candles (enough for light, but not enough to fry a blanket) and we sit under our makeshift tent in the playroom and read stories before bedtime. If I'm feeling extra nice (could be tough after an all-dayer), I'll let them sleep there. But both of them are restless sleepers, so moving around constantly could pose a problem. I could just see the two of them moving around, kicking a chair, jump rope snaps, blanket falls down, and I get a middle of the night scream: "Mommy! Our tent is ruined! My blankie fall down!" And then you have the 2am ultimatum of "Do I fix the tent and go back to bed or do I fight them to get in their own beds and sleep?" Yes, I know. The dilemmas you face as a mom.

So I'm preparing the blankets, getting out my candles, setting aside the books, all in preparation of our Lights Out Night. No TV, no movies, no video games. Just pure, uninterrupted Mommy-Boys time - did I say uninterrupted? Ha.

If you're a parent, I highly recommend this activity. It doesn't make for a huge clean-up and the kids really do have a great time. We'll take some pics and I'll post them on my next blog.

Maybe we'll hit up the 99cent store for some flashlights this time. :)

"Beediful"

This crazy week ended with a bang. There was an amazing turnout at VBS Family Night and the performances for the parents went off without a hitch.
My husband took some incredible pictures that I will forever be thankful for.
Both my kids were praising God, my mom came to support all three of us performing, and it was just an overwhelming energy one cannot begin to describe!
My mom treated us to Islands afterwards, where Cameron told her she was "beediful" (beautiful). I honestly think I saw her melting right in her seat. What a beediful moment. ;)





















Then this morning, I had some errands to run and low and behold, I got to go by myself!
*cue Triumphant music*
Recently, becoming a stay-at-home mom, it is very rare that I get any grocery shopping done, any checks deposited, any Venti frappucinos, any gas runs, etc, without my kids screaming at each other (or me) from the backseat. "Mom, turn on Take, Take, Take It All." "Mommy, turn up liddle peez." (Mommy, turn up the music little please) "Cameron, stop hitting me!" "Nandin (Landon), me do it." "Mommy, me sing!" "Mom, the sun is too hot for my eyes." "Mommy, where's Sissy (Jordan)?" And on and on and on.....
I deposited some checks, got my Venti frap from Starbucks, got school supplies for Landon AND grocery shopping!!! All in a few hours with just peace and my worship music on. Can we say "beediful"?

So now I'm home, still procrastinating folding the darn laundry, and listening to my kids watching Veggie Tales. And Landon has since figured out how to use the DVD remote, so needless to say, we may watch the same part 10 times before moving on. A person can only handle hearing "If you like to talk to tomatoes" so many times before going nuts. I think I'm going to remove the batteries! Ahhh yes!

*pause*

Dang it. He figured out the batteries were missing. Note to self: Must find a remote where the battery pack opens only by removing a screw like all the kids toys come with now!

Maybe I'll start folding that laundry now. Do you like to talk to tomatoes? :)

Spring Cleaning this early?...

If you think I've started de-cluttring, you're wrong.
If you think I'm getting rid of old clothes, you're wrong.
If you think I'm having a yard sale for un-used toys, you're wrong...

For the time being, that is.

I'm de-cluttering, re-organizing, getting rid of, throwing away and re-prioritizing my emotional state of being, my faith and my life in general.

I've neglected putting God first and that's going to change.
I've neglected focusing on those who truly meant the most to me and paid attention to the un-needed drama.
I've neglected taking that "me and God" time every day, but will avidly seek after Him now instead.

Emotional Spring Cleaning To Do List:
* Brush the dirt and drama under the rug
* Throw away the negativity out of my life and my family's life
* Prioritize and focus on the important things.

Yup. *sigh* What a transformation over a couple of months. :) Thank you Father.

Lost in a Lazy, Unaccomplished Guilt?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm incredibly lost. My day can be completely organized down to the minute, but yet if I take one second to sit down, I feel like I'm being lazy. I sit there and wonder, "Shouldn't I be doing something this very second? " Even if the dishwasher is going, the laundry is drying and my kids are playing nicely, I still feel... ummmmmmm... unaccomplished? Is that the word? I guess any parent out there reading this could probably identify with what I'm saying. You almost feel guilty, even though you're taking care of everything you can.
Hmmmmmm.....


I should probably go get the dishes done before worship band practice tonight...

Did the past few days really just happen?

So, finally this year, I had the chance to volunteer for VBS... which in case you don't know, stands for Vacation Bible School. Most churches have them, but I doubt any church does them like CCV (Christ's Church of the Valley). We have 400 kids in attendance this year, which also means it has brought out the most amazing volunteers and teachers. Their morning begins at 9:00 with an all school assembly at 9:15, and then they rotate through different activities throughout the morning until the closing assembly at noon. Where am I you may ask? Well probably where you think I am... On Stage. Duh. lol

I get my ever-so-cool "Hannah Montana" microhphone and I sing and dance and worship and praise on stage in front of all these AMAZING kids!

The best moment:
Looking out into the sea of children and spotting Landon. He wasn't looking at me at the time because he had his eyes closed and was worshiping the Lord with his hands held high. I literally had to start lip syncing for the moment because I was choking up and didn't want to cry into the mic. To see my son having a moment with his Maker was indescribable. Ok, tearing up again. A few minutes later, I caught his eye and he smiled so big and gave me HUGE thumbs up! I saw him tap his friend and say, "That's my mom up there!" For some reason, all the little boys in his class give me hugs now. lol I wonder why? :)

Another great moment:
This whole week, the kids are bringing in coins and money to give to other children in Zimbabwe. After hearing about the difference he could make, Landon immediately came home and said he wanted to give money to the kids. So I reached for my wallet and he stopped me. "No, Mom... I want to give them my own money." (Which let me add, that he has a secret stash of money that he has been saving up to go on a trip to Toys R Us, so the kid is doing quite good.) So he went upstairs to his "hiding place", took out some money and even gave a couple of dollars to his younger brother so he could contribute the next day. He then asked, "Mom, do you think the other kids in Zimbabwe will be able to go to Toys R Us with this money?" Oh if only he truly knew what it was like. I told him his money would buy food and clothes, which are always better than toys, which he responded, "Oh yes, mom. Nobody likes a hungry naked baby running around because they're grumpy."

The week thus far has really made me step back and look at my kids in a whole new light. Cameron is coming home and avidly wants me to read the Bible with him. Landon is talking nonstop about the lesson plans he has been learning. This year's theme is Dr. Suess - A person's a person no matter how small. My kids feel special, loved and appreciated. And I have no one to thank but God for giving all the loving volunteers the strength to instill His Word in each and every kid.

In the next couple of days, I pray that the Lord has touched so many kids that they will choose to give their hearts to Christ. Could you imagine being a parent and hearing your child say, "Yes, Lord. I will follow You for the rest of my life. Please come into my heart."?

Friday evening, there is a performance at 6:30pm if anyone is interested. All 400 kids will be performing so it will be a good time.

I think I'll call myself "That Proud Mom Over There" for the day. :)

Welcome to my world...

For awhile now, I've been debating on whether or not I wanted to set up my own blog. Now that I am home, there are so many things that happen daily that are either too cute or too funny not to share. So...

Welcome to my world.

I'm that "crazy mom over there" who tries to do too much, probably kisses her kids too much, is always concerned for others before herself, and ultimately tries to achieve perfection. Perfection that this side of craziness will most likely never see.

I have two boys and a step-daughter, all of which I cherish will all my heart. The older two, Landon and Jordan, will be starting kindergarten this month and it has absolutely taken me for a loop. I actually cried watching the Walmart back to school commercial the other day. They are my babies and to be starting a completely new chapter in their life, and "making new memories without me" as my sister would say, makes me sad, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. Will they be liked? Will they do well? Will they be as retarded as they are at home sometimes? lol Forget about that last one... kind of.

I'm thrilled to be able to spend a couple of hours of alone time with my youngest while the older two are at school. He needs it. He's definitely the baby of the family and his attitude and personality portray it well. Apparently, I was exactly the same way when I was his age, so I just figure God is looking down on me and smiling in an "I got you" kind of a way. Yes, I truly believe that even God has a sense of humor.

And while we're on the topic, I love God and have devoted my life to Him and have promised to raise my kids in His Glory and Word. End of story... it's not up for negotiation.

I have an amazing husband, Michael, whom I've known was my soulmate since the first night I met him... the night before I married my ex-husband. Yup, you read correctly. He was dating a friend who came to my bachelorette party and we just clicked. I almost didn't get married the next day because I was so darn sure there was something about him that completed me. Little did I know, a year and a half later, I would be calling him my own. We had a son (the attitude-bearing, know-it-all youngest, Cameron) and got married July 15, 2007. Yes, I know we did it backwards, but we have since put God at the center of our marriage, been forgiven for our wrong doings and are growing stronger by the day.

So at the moment, Cameron is on the floor next to me watching "Ect-Men" (X-Men) and cuddling with is "chocit bunny" (chocolate bunny) and Landon is having his "alone time" as he likes to say, downstairs watching his cartoons. Sometimes, the boys just need a break from each other, and to be honest, I need a break from their arguing. lol Without these little moments, I would probably throw myself off the roof... or punt my kids like a football. Ha Ha... just kidding again, maybe.

Well, hope you enjoy the randomness, humor, enlightening, spiritual and sometimes sophisticated (yeah, right) thoughts that run through my head... but whatever you do, DON'T call me a crazy mom... that's MY job. :)