Tuesday, October 27, 2009

You Talkin To Me?

As if this week couldn't get any worse, my oldest son, Landon was sleepwalking last night. I awoke around 12:30 to an incessant barking from the neighbor's dog, so naturally, I go and check on my boys to see if they've been awoken as well... lo and behold- Landon was not in his bed!!! After about two minutes of running around in a panicked state looking for him (2 minutes that felt like 2 hours), I turned on the light in the playroom to find him asleep on the couch in there. Thank God he hadn't gotten hurt in this "bed-to-couch transition" in the dark. So I put him back to bed and went back to my room.... only to sit awake for about 2 hours, listening for every little sound I possibly could come from down the hallway. He got up about two more times walking around, and on the third when he finally needed to actually use the bathroom, I just pulled him in to bed with me so we could all get some sleep. So yes, super emotional and lonely me is running off three hours of sleep... not a good combo.

So maybe it was a combination of last night and this past week, but I'm not the woman to mess with right now. Well of all people to piss me off, my husband's ex decides to pick a fight with me through text message and I am going to post it here, verbatim, so everyone can see what a psycho we deal with on a day to day basis. I really don't care at this point if this is a good idea, but if I have this type of conversation documented, all the better for us in the long run.

Me: The plan today is for me to pick [J] up from gym and then u get her from me at 8, correct?

Her: Yeah and then you'll pick her up and drop her off on Thursday... And what time did you think you guys will be picking up [J] on Friday and when will you bring her home?

note* It was previously agreed to by my husband and his ex that I would have two dinner visits with [J] while he was in Montana and his ex would be picking her up from me after both visits. Apparently, her lazy ass forgot that. Moving on...

Me: No. My understanding is that u will pick her up both tonight and Thurs at 8. I will pick her up from school Fri and we will drop her off to you at 8.

Her: I told Mike I was willing to pick her up one night only... not both...

Me: The deal was both in exchange for [niece's] party. I'm doing enough by myself this week and would appreciate the help. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Her: I understand where you're coming from so I'll do it this time...

note* How on earth does she understand? Since when is she home running a household with three children alone for 10 days???

Her: Next time this happens all the normal travel arrangements remain in full effect. In regards to [niece's] bday I will be picking [J] up from you guys on Saturday the 14th at 7pm...

Me: Oh thanks for the favor I guess. And for [niece's] bday, I understand that you and [sister] are doing something at your church and you mom is picking her up from us at our church... Not the night before.

Her: If I'm driving to pick [J] up this week twice when I only agreed to once, then I get [J] on Saturday night the 14th at 7pm which was what you and I agreed to.

note* I agreed to nothing.

Me: You and I never agreed to anything, we discussed different options. But Mikey and you agreed to a church pick up and it had nothing to do with you driving here twice this week. Welcome to what we have to do on a weekly basis. I don't understand why it's so hard to just help out sometimes without so many strings attached...

Her: If u have a problem with the travel arrangements take it up with your husband... he's the one that agreed to it... Well I guess if we can't come to a resolution then we just leave things the way they are and not change anything... you don't get [J] this week and I don't get her for the party.

Me: It's not just the travel [B], it's the fact that anytime we ask for your help, there always has to be provisions. God forbid you should drive out here twice this week to help me out after being alone 10 days with the kids, but always have to have something in return. What resolution? I am going off what my husband said the two of you agreed to: you pick up Tues and Thurs from me, we pick up and drop off Fri, your mother picks [J] up from our church the 15th. If this needs to be changed, take it up with him and let me know. I do not make the agreements with you. I will be picking up [J] today and Thurs at 4:30pm as planned.

Her: I didn't agree to pick her up twice this week (note* YES SHE DID!) with Mike... so if I pick her up from you twice this week then I'll be picking [J] up from you guys on Saturday.

Me: All this over having to drive out here twice this week? You're unbelievable! Fine, just spoke with my husband, and even tho u agreed to two pickups, u can pick her up on the 14th at 8pm and no earlier since we will be having Landon's party that day. I want my [J] time.

All I want is time with my step-daughter, yet her mother will swear up and down that she makes this asinine decisions in the best interests of [J]. What part of that convo and not wanting to drive out here twice to help me out because she's so fricken lazy was in the best interest of her daughter?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
All I know is, my husband is proud of me for standing up to her while he's in another state and that's all that matters.

My advice: Don't flippin mess with me right now. I have plenty of friends that will be "ghetto" with me and rip you a new one. Thanks! :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

A Long-Time-Coming Meltdown

Well, I finally broke down yesterday. It was definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mind is just so consumed with so many different things that it's quite impossible to see straight right now.

My son's kindergarten teacher wants me to pull him out of school because he's too "lethargic" and thinks I should get his blood tested. Sure, he's at the top of his class academically, but sometimes, takes a little longer to clean up toys or move from one station to the next. The kid gets between 10 and 11 hours of sleep at night... He excels on ALL of his tests... Is NEVER disruptive in class... and is a really great student (coming from other parent volunteers in the classroom who decided to share their opinions with me). Apparently, this teacher is known for her biased opinion of children (especially boys) who start Kindergarten before turning 5. Landon will be 5 in two weeks - get over it lady! One parent volunteer last Friday told me that the teacher was talking non-stop about the "under-agers" during recess and how she cannot believe parents "do this to their kids." Excuse me! But my son is MORE THAN READY to be in a school environment and has proven this to me time and time again. I'm thinking it's about time to tell this teacher that no matter what she says, my son is STAYING IN SCHOOL.

Next, I have turf toe. Yes, a small and minute (yet sometimes very sharp) pain, it's still bugging me. Turf toe is most common in football players and runners from pushing off the balls of their feet, but dancers frequently get it as well from going on releve. Well, I've been working out and choreographing a lot more lately, and apparently, sprained the base of my big toe, on my left foot, which is my turning foot, hence "turf toe". I'm wearing a little retarded ortho shoe which prevents me from bending my toes, so it's helped a lot. The doc suggested I stay on crutches until my follow-up, but with no hubby around til this Friday and being alone and crazy busy with the kids, that type of recovery is just not possible. So my next appnt is with a sports med doctor a week from today. We shall see...

My kids were insane yesterday. I think they wanted to test me to my limits and BOY did they! Not listening, really disrespectful, rude, mean to each other, fighting, whining, begging... anything they could possibly do to irritate me, they did. So after having to be at church for all three services yesterday morning, we went to lunch with Michelle where the kids continued to torment me. We stopped by Walmart on our way home to see if they had any Pirate invites for Landon's birthday party, which they did not, and the boys proceeded to run around everywhere, yell at me, and hit each other (all behavior which is not uncommon in children, but extremely uncommon for mine in the extremity they were acting). So we got home and I just lost it. I sent them to play in the backyard, all the while, Cameron didn't nap despite my best efforts, and we were supposed to go back to church for a concert that evening. Needless to say, being almost 30 mins from our church, mascara smeared all over my face and no one to hold me, I wasn't about to leave the house in any way, shape or form. We stayed home. It was a looooong night.

We went to a memorial service last week for a dear friend of mine from church whose dad passed away. The whole time I was sitting there listening to his daughters and brother speak such kind words about him, all I could think about was my own dad and how far we've drifted apart over the years. I maybe speak to him once a year. There's a long story behind what he did to my family, but in the end, he's my Daddy and I miss him so much. I was Daddy's girl and he ripped that away from me in an instant and nothing has been the same since. God had to give me so much strength to forgive him and I most certainly have, I just wish he could forgive himself and be a part of his kids (and grand kids) lives. I don't think he understands just how much it would mean to all of us.

I miss my husband. Despite missing him being here to help and for the "adult" communication, I feel like we've been missing that "best friend" bond and it's killing me. We really need to work on loving each other more. Period.

I think I've babbled on enough.... and believe me, there's PLENTY more to add to all this, but for sake of boredom, I will spare you. On to the rest of my crazy crazy crazy day. Hope everyone is having a better few days than I am. Can I just have a hug now??????????

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Mother & Son Questionnaire

Last night at the Mother-Son Dance, we did a little activity with the boys that was a Questionnaire. I thought the answers my little ones gave were too cute not to post. So here goes:

"Questions for Son"

1. What was the nicest thing your mom ever did for you?
Landon: Everything.
Cameron: Make me food.

2. What was your favorite birthday?
Landon: Bowling and Disneyland
Cameron: Agent Oso (which hasn't happened yet, but he's already planning his 3rd bday party. lol)

3. What is the thing you love most about your mom?
Landon: She helps me all the time.
Cameron: Being in her bed. hahahaha

4. What is the best thing your mom has ever cooked you?
Landon: Peanut Butter and Jelly.
Cameron: Waffles.

5. What is the worst thing your mom has ever cooked you?
Landon: That red and green thing that looks like garbage. (Have NO clue what this is! lol)
Cameron: Eggs.

6. What do you love to do most with your mom?
Landon: Go to Disneyland.
Cameron: Snuggle. (*sigh*)

7. What is the wisest thing your mother has ever told you?
Landon: To praise Jesus.
Cameron: To pray. (Can you tell I'm grinning from ear to ear by now?)

8. My mother has the prettiest ________.
Landon: hair.
Cameron: head.

9. What is the funniest thing my mother has ever done?
Landon: Made silly faces.
Cameron: Tickled me.

"Questions for Mom"

1. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?
Set up my own diner in the playroom and waitress on rollerskates. lol

2. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?
8th grade I think.

3. Are you the youngest, middle or oldest in your family?
Youngest and I LIKE it that way! :)

4. What was your favorite subject in school?

5. What was your nickname when you were little?
Nettie or Net Net

6. What was your biggest fear when you were little?
That Santa Claus would come down the chimney and kill my family - thanks Brother.

7. What is one thing you wish you had done when you were little that yo never did?
Tried to keep my daddy at home more instead of working so much.

8. What is the thing you love most about your son(s)?
Landon has an absolute heart of gold and Cameron when he's not being a nutbuster, makes me feel more love than I ever thought possible.

9. What is your favorite memory with your son(s)?
The first mother-son dance with Landon is an evening I will never forget. And taking Cameron to Disneyland for the first time for Landon's birthday still puts a smile on my face.

10. My son has the best ___________.
Landon has the best heart, Cameron has the best snuggles.

We took a few moments out of the dance to talk over the answers with our boys and share some quality one-on-one time with them. It was an incredible night that I will never forget.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Alone for 10 Days

My husband left for Montana today... til next Friday... with two kids and a couple dinner visits with Jordan... an insane load of activities... and barely enough time to breath in my day.

Don't get me wrong, I want him to have a great time! But I am REALLY going to miss my time at the end of the day with him. When he gets home, it's like: "Yes! I have someone other than a 4 and 2 year old to talk to!" [Insert baby talk here.] Of course, with husbands, it may seem like you're talking to a 4 or 2 year old, but hey, it's better than Mom... Mom... Mom... Mom... Mom!!!

So today we dropped the older two off at school, ran a couple of errands, dropped hubby off to the "pick up" spot to meet his dad, picked Landon up from school, met Ashley and baby Liam for lunch, and finally headed home. My poor Cammy passed out from pure exhaustion while I choreographed and Landon played Wii. Then did homework with Landon, made dinner, and am now taking a few minutes to check email and such.

I'm hoping with all my might I can make it through the next nine days without going completely insane!... and without any migraines! Yes, minus the migraines would be VERY nice. Hubby is usually my biggest support when I get those terrible-no-can-see-want-to-vomit headaches, and he won't be here... so be expecting some phone calls friends should the situation arise! lol

I would LOVE the company!!!... *wink wink wink* *nudge nudge nudge*

Oh and I officially dyed my hair for the first time in my life. Yes, my hair was always naturally very blonde and I was sooooo ready for a change. [insert dromroll here]

I'm actually liking the darker color better. lol Stay tuned!

Off to complete showers and teeth so I can actually enjoy So You Think You Can Dance tonight. Day 1 is almost complete. *sigh*

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Long Time Coming

I know. I know. It's been awhile, but things got pretty crazy.

My "rainbow" calendar stares me in the face every day reminding me of all that needs to be done.
My to-do list is getting longer by the minute and I don't know if I'll ever get around to finishing it.
My kids extra-curricular activities are taking over the afternoons (and nap time), but I just can't seem to say no to those precious faces.
My husband has been working so much that I barely see him, although I'm grateful for all he does.

To put it simply... I'm ready for a change. Start with little things and then attack the larger ones.

I need to express more of how I'm feeling and worry about the logistics later.

It is almost Halloween and then the Thanksgiving and Christmas season will be vastly approaching and I sure hope I'm ready for it! It's my favorite time of year and I couldn't be more thrilled than to spend it with my family and the friends I have become closest to this year... hanging with them has really helped me put things into perspective and I am forever thankful.

It seems as though the schedule is jam-packed the rest of the year so good luck trying to get a hold of me. lol

Ta Ta For Now... who says that any more? Really?